Hi K2 and the Oracle,
One thing that has been consistently on my mind & I have been working with in visualizing a positive outcome. Is this I am married to a lovely guy, however we hardly see things from same perspective. I know he is my big learning lesson in this life just as much as I am for him, however it is challenging being with a being who is defensive towards me in mostly all things we discuss about. The flow is not there (if it is it is only for a few days a year) And am stuck between loyalty to see it through no matter what as we have made a commitment to one another or decide to go? In the beginning of our relationship he came across as the soul mate I have always wanted, but since being together it is anything but that? It feels more like I am his caretaker. We have been together for 12 years & we seem to go over the same issues every week every year it is getting very monotonous & we don’t seem to move on from this point? I have turned myself inside out to try to understand this? What does one do in a situation like this? I would appreciate a different outlook or point of view very much so.
Blessings and warm appreciation to you both and The Oracle.
What a wonderful question. Most people experience difficulties with love and money, so yours is a great question which will benefit many;
We say, first we want you to realize that your experience is common. There are many who begin to feel as though their marriage or relationship has not gone as expected. Many don’t understand what happened to the wonderful person they had connected with and fallen in love with and committed to.
We want you to recognize that this is common because then you’ll understand that you have not done something ‘wrong’, as you cannot.
No, what has occurred is that you have both come to a place where you are not fully living who you truly are. You are not feeling like you can, which is, of course, a false premise.
We say, change your mind. Decide to be who you truly are and do not allow the relationship, the money or family members to impose an agreement upon you to be someone else. Let’s look at this more deeply for you: for many including you, they want to feel more love in their relationship, they want to feel more connection. However, the other person says something to trigger anger or hurt and then you change from focusing on feeling loving to defending or shutting yourself down.
What would occur if you stayed true to you? What if you chose to let the anger or pain flow and stay focused on who you truly are, the more loving version of you?
We know that it is difficult when you feel unloved or under attack. We say, this is an illusion. This is something that you have attracted and it is not representative of how your Source Energy feels about you.
When you choose to tap into how your Source Energy feels about you and how your Source Energy sees your mate, you will change your mind. Flow to change your mind, re-frame or use anything else you can to help you see as your Source does or to feel loved by your Source. Choose to do whatever it takes to feel yourself – to feel like the you that you know yourself to be. Choose to feel the love you wanted to feel.
Before love, the behavior of others changes. They may kick and scream a bit at first, but then they change. Before love others will have to reflect love back to you or stop reflecting you. In other words, Ms Z, we say, be who you know yourself to be. Don’t let your husband fool you into thinking that he is what you are experiencing, for you know that he is not. No, instead insist on being the more joyful, connected person you were when you fell in love. Insist on being the loving wife you want to be now.
We say, you will change by becoming who you want to be. Then the relationship will change. The relationship will let you know whether you will stay in a more loving relationship or it will fade and you will find yourself in different circumstances.
First find you, who you truly are. It will take you a little while, but when you keep coming back to feeling like the version of you that you want to be and you get better and better at this, then you will see the relationship changing in one direction or another. Then you will know whether it is time to rejoice and a re-birthed love will come forward or whether you have outgrown the marriage, for, you see, everything must grow. It will grow together or apart.
Your marriage is far more likely to grow together when you focus on being who you truly are. You have great love and great support assisting you; keep coming back to who you know you truly are and that more loving and connected person will create wonderful things with unseen help that is all around you.
In our love,